My fitness goals for the month of June:

1. 6 days cardio a week. That’s 45-90minutes a day.
2. 3-4 days strength/weight training a week. 
3. Between 23-26 days total of weight training & cardio work.
4. Try to reincorporate yoga and stretching as well!

I’m focusing less on the eating portion, the calorie counting, etc. and trying to be mindful without over analyzing. I think I was psyching myself out and it was doing nothing but negative things to my body and to my mind. I am still planning on doing a detox of sorts once my supplies arrive but it’s more about refocusing on my body and its needs rather than my desire to eat. That kind of mentality has fallen to the wayside somewhat and right now that’s what I’ve been struggling with. I’ve been indulging on chocolates and candy when I should be filling my body with veggies and fruits and things that sustain me. I do understand that limiting myself can be a negative but overindulging tends to have it’s own effect on my brain, more often then not I just shrug my shoulders and figure I’ve already gone down that path so I might as well continue. I’ve been working out super hard the past couple of days and have let that be an excuse to indulge. But if I ate well and worked out as hard as I have been the weight would be melting off.

Anyway, here’s to refocusing.

So yesterday I got in 60 minutes of cardio and today I clocked 105 minutes. I had scheduled a training session with a friend but as it was cancelled the only thing I really wanted to do was read the girl who kicked the hornet's nest. So instead of being lazy and reading on the couch in the break room before work I did more cardio. However I definitely used this as an excuse to eat a brownie, several macaroons, frozen yogurt and half a bag of popcorn at the movie theater. I suppose I justify the fact that I ate all this BECAUSE I spent so goddamn long at cardio. But considering I ate all the calories I burned in crap, it doesn't entirely make me feel any better about my work out. I just started my period and I felt ravenous and gave into this feeling of indulgence which lately I've noticed I've been doing more and more. And attempting to justify it which isn't entirely do-able. I'm looking forward to doing this cleanse once the proper supplies arrive because I think I need to reavaluate my eating habits, yet again. Being the 'fat kid' for so long it's a hard habit to break, it's hard to say no to treats especially when they are given to you and even harder to stay away from them once that cycle is started. BUT tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning, a new month. No more excuses.

I do have a training session tomorrow, time for cardio and a thai massage. I should make up for today and really earn that massage..

Weekly Goals/Plans!

Sunday: 60min cardio

Monday: 60min strength/drill & 30-60min cardio

Tuesday: 60min strength/drill & 30-60min cardio

Wednesday: 60min cardio

Thursday: 60min strength/drill

Friday: 60min cardio

Saturday: 60min cardio

Not taking any days off this week. I worked out 4 days last week even after promising myself 6. I want to do something EVERYDAY, even if it's just a basic low intensity cardio workout. I don't have to bust ass everyday as long as I attempt to get in something, everyday. I may try to replace one of those days with yoga as well. My goal really is just to keep moving and do something for an hour physically, to get back into the mindset and groove of things. I got super drunk last Thursday and spent the entire day on Friday hungover on the couch. Not exactly my idea of fun either. Something I need to spend far less time doing. I have a low tolerance for alcohol but somehow, can't say no! Opppps!

Things I Enjoy Sunday

Being blonde! I went to the hair salon on an impromptu decision on Tuesday and made the leap – well, not entirely impromptu. I had been contemplating it for about a week to go platinum and had made an appointment with my hair dresser in San Mateo for the 7th. But frankly, I was a bit nervous about trying to make the jump from brown to white all in one day and decided to take matters into my own hands so that I didn’t fry my scalp. The girl did an amazing job and my hair looks pretty damn good considering it’s stubborn and there are sections that refused to go blonde immediately. But it’s a process. I fully plan on deep conditioning numerous times before next Monday’s appointment. It feels better already so I’m hoping by taking care of it, air-drying or blow-drying on cold air, two weeks will allow it to properly heal and return somewhat to its former shape. I made my own deep conditioning mixture of coconut oil, honey and avocado and while that worked surprisingly well I decided to splurge and picked up Redken Real Control Intense Renewal Super Moisturizing Mask as well as Shimmer Lights Shampoo and Lush's Blonde Shampoo. I'm hoping the combination of these guys for the next week will help ! And maybe another coconut treatment?? I've also been using Jojoba Oil on my hair as a leave in at night and before running to work to help with fly aways. I use it everywhere actually, threw it in a spray bottle with water and use it as a toner. Stuff is pure magic! My skin has never felt this soft or smooth before.

Detox! I’ve considered doing a raw tea detox before in the past but after wandering around on Etsy the past few days I’ve decided to go for it. I ordered Essiacs Blend and Ultimate Green Drink . I am hoping the combination of the teas and a raw diet of fruits and veggies for 7 days will help renew my system and really refocus my attention on health. Lately I’ve been splurging on all kinds of not so good foods (ie: cheese, butter, ice cream – dairy in general) and am starting to feel the effects on my body and mood. Detoxing, in my experience, helps to reiterate the idea of what the body actually needs rather than the mind’s desires for food.

Also, soap – ordered a few from gloilocksandbody and am beyond excited. I’ve purchased her soap and scrubs in the past before and they are all delectable and delicious and work like a charm! I’m excited to splurge a bit HERE, to indulge my body in a way that doesn’t have to do with eating or with clothes.

What do you spend your money on, bath and body wise??

Five things you will find if you open my bag:
1. mole skin daily planners
2. lush lip balm
3. business cards
4. the omnivore’s dilemma
5. ipod classic 30g

Five things in my bedroom:
1. stacks & stacks of negatives
2. old prints in portfolios
3. black boots
4. books on fashion, food & feminism
5. jump rope, yoga mat & push up bars

Five things I’ve always wanted to do in my life:
1. live in new york city
2. own a large, large dog
3. be able to see without glasses
4. be that fit, healthy girl with sexy curves
5. have a walk in closet full of black clothes

Five things that make me very happy:
1. bathtubs, face masks & bubbles
2. studs, black, sequins
3. reading in bed while it rains
4. aching the next day after a long workout
5. fitting into the ‘skinny jeans’ after years!

Five things I’m currently into:
1. studs, black, sequins
2. watching movies on the couch w/the dog
3. stereomode
4. blonde bombshell obsession
5. wine, crackers & fantastic cheese

Five things on my To-Do list:
1. edit, edit, edit
2. sleep in tomorrow!!
3. start up the c25k again (opps)
4. go blonde. bombshell.
5. workout 5-6x !

Five things some people may or may not know about you:
1. have been going gray ever since I was 16
2. rode horses for over 10 years
3. have a not so secret obsession with beards
4. lost my virginity at 21
5. have tiny little feet for a tall girl (maybe that’s why im clumsy!?)

eek, is it bedtime yet??

Workout Goals for this Week.

Sunday: 30min strength (upper body) & 60min cardio

Monday: 30min strength (lower body/abs) & 60min cardio

Tuesday: 60min strength/drills & 60min cardio

Wednesday: 30min strength (upper body) & 60min cardio

Thursday: REST DAY!

Friday: 30min strength (lower body/abs) & 60min cardio

Saturday: 60min strength (fitness test) & 60min cardio